USWP - We Totally Whip the Llama's @ss

Day 2,553, 20:07 • Published in USA USA • by Gnilraps
Come On Up To The House (Mandatory listening)
Day 2553 of the New World
16 November, 2014


I need to interrupt my informal series of articles focusing on Plato's stupidity so that I can put a few things out there about my chosen eRep Political Party, The United States Workers Party.

I just feel like it's a good time to toss this out there.



First off, let's get one thing straight, despite its socialist-sounding moniker (I mean, what else do you think of when you hear "workers party"???), USWP is not a bunch of Trotskyites masquerading as eCitizens. If you are a Shachtmanist, join the SFP. For real. Those dudes drink the Marxist Cool Aid for Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and Fourth Meal.

No, the USWP is just a cool name for a pretty badass Political Party.

If you are a relatively newer player in eRepublik, and I know that a lot of my readers are, you probably have asked yourself the same question I did when I was starting out, what the hell is the difference between the Political Parties in a game that doesn't really have a mechanic for Political philosophy? I'm glad you've asked.

Basically the Parties are just clubs. So you will want to belong to the club that compliments your gaming style. And unless you are that guy who is always blowing yourself up in HalfLife, USWP is probably the first best place to check out.

By far and away, the USWP has been the most consistently idiot-free Party over the 5 years I've played this game. A couple other Parties have had fairly decent success avoiding the kind of Derpy leadership that tends to embarrass the Party and annoy the Nation. So kudos are worth giving to the Feds for being mostly idiot-free and AMP for at least electing Israel Stevens who just ought to keep the PP spot until the game shuts down. But back to my point, USWP just keeps churning out stability.

And if you are a new player wanting to take part in the fun of the social/political aspect of eRepublik, it pays to join a Party that adds to your credibility rather than creates immediate questions about your character. Trust me, there are a couple semi-largish parties that hang on your resume like a cheap suit hangs crooked across your back. Just join USWP.


(USWP)


(not-USWP)



Another great thing about USWP is the cool kids that play here. Seriously, some day I'd like to see the USWP run the entire White House. No other Party in eUSA could fill out an entire Cabinet of such experienced players as USWP could. What would it look like you ask?

President: Gnilraps of course.
Vice President: Henry Pfeiffer Arundel - just to piss off the haters.
NSC Director: Deepchill - excellently experienced at just this thing.
Secretary of Defense: john nwp - don't look now, but he already is!
Secretary of State: Wild Owl - as if there's any other.
Secretary of Media: Azazel Romanov - sub his paper. Worth every word.
Secretary of Treasury: Kemal "The Boss" Ergenekon. 'nuff said.
Secretary of Swag: Tenshibo - other parties don't even have this.
Secretary of Technology: Darkmantle - beastmode
Secretary of Interior: SColbert - dude's a people mover
(I hated leaving Artela off this but she literally JUST left the game.)

You get the point, right? The amount of awesomesauce in a cabinet like that would be enough to fill up a big gigantic vat full of awesomesauce and there would be awesomesauce spilling over the sides getting awesomesauce all over the place. It would literally rain awesomesauce from the skies above.

Not that I'm saying this is happening any time soon or anything. It's just that USWP is exactly that badass.



I don't want this to end up being some too-long article with a bunch of trumped up ballyhoo, but it would be stupid of me to not also mention something that is ultra cool about being USWP: complete absence of b*llsh*t.

I know, Jude sort of went off the deep end, but it's pretty obvious that he was just trying to script some drama so people would notice him on his way out. Too bad he did that because we all would have given him a much fonder farewell... I know I would have commented on his farewell article... But what was I saying? Oh yeah, no b*llsh*t. Seriously.

USWP is as drama-free as it gets. Being in other Parties can sometimes be akin to being in the locker room after the 13 year old girls soccer team lost 2-0. People all b*tching and arguing and not trusting one another and trying to be more popular than the pretty blonde goalie who's boobs are bigger than everyone else's on the team which of course makes her most popular among the boys... This doesn't happen in the USWP locker room. We are all just like:



Everyone else is all like:



USWP be all like:


(except we are actually co-ed)

Everyone else be all like:



And you get the idea.



There are definitely cool people in some of those other parties, many are my friends. I'm not trying to make the case that all USWP members are superior to all non-USWP members. What I am saying is that USWP culture is superior to non-USWP culture. And that all those cool people in those other parties would actually love it here if they'd ever give it a try. And so would you.

So join USWP. Come on up to the house. When you do give a shout on the wall and introduce yourself. Tell 'em Gnilraps sent you. Only good things could come from this.


This tee-shirt is the only thing I can find that is better than USWP.



And now I'll look forward to publishing some more articles making fun of Plato.


You may now return to your regularly scheduled clicking