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Potpourri

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"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"

-- Satchel Paige


Jokes

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A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club.

"You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.

-o-o-o-o-

The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a huge amount of material on the mid-term exam. Tension in the room built up, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized how much material they had covered and were expected to recall.

The following week the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me."

"What did He say?" asked one of the students.

"He said, 'Gee, thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people before'"

-o-o-o-o-

Two Texans are sitting on a plane from Dallas and an old Jewish man is sitting between them. The first Texan says, "My name is Roger. I own
250,000 acres. I have 1,000 head of cattle and they call my place The Jolly Roger."

The second Texan says, "My name is John. I own 350,000 acres. I have
5,000 head of cattle and they call my place Big John's."

They both look down at the little old Jewish man who says, "My name is Irving and I own only 300 acres."

John looks down at him and says, "300 Acres? What do you raise?"

"Nothing," says Irving.

"Well then, what do you call it?" asked John.

"Downtown Dallas."

-o-o-o-o-

I bought a box of self-improvement tapes entitled "How To Handle Disappointment." I got it home and the box was empty.