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Pot pourri

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"Find arms that will hold you at your weakest times, eyes that will see
your beauty at your ugliest times, and a heart that will love you at
your worst."

-- Author Unknown

Jokes

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I was driving with my three young children one warm summer
evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood
up and waved. She was stark naked!

As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old
shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a
seat belt!"

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A burglar who needed money to pay his income taxes decided
to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very
pleased to find a note, reading, "Please don't use dynamite.
The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob."

He did so. Instantly, a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire
premises was floodlighted and alarms started clanging!

As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard
moaning, "My confidence in human nature has been rudely shaken."

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After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they promised they
would take care of it, mom, as usual, ended up with the
responsibility.

One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times
do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked
after it?"

After a moment, her five-year-old son replied quizzically, "Uh,
once?"

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Speeches are like steer horns--a point here, a point there,
and a lot of bull in between.