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Dedicated to my friend S....e
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What's the difference between Swedes and mosquitoes?
Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm.
"Where did you find that monkey?" asked the fellow pedestrian.
"It happens to be a duck." claimed the Swede.
"Shut up, Swede! I am talking to the duck."

What are beautiful women in Sweden called?
Tourists.

What is a party game played by Swedes?
One Swede goes into a box and the other Swede tries to guess which Swede is in it.

Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Sweden?
It's impossible to find three wise men there, let alone a virgin.

Why are Swedish jokes getting sillier and sillier?
Because the Swedes have started to make them up themselves.

Why do Swedes always drink their milk in the store?
Because on the packet it says "oppnas har".

What is the shortest book in the world called?
Swedish geniuses.

What do you get if you cross a swede and a gypsy?
A car thief who can't drive.

Why do the swedes cut holes in their umbrellas?
Because they want to see when the rain ends.

Why do swedes bring sand paper with them when they travel in the desert?
Because they need a map.

Why do swedes always go outside when there's lightning?
Because they think someone is taking pictures of them.

😃