Join the new world

Pot pourri

---

"In order to achieve anything you must be brave enough to fail."

-- Kirk Douglas

Jokes

---

Two analytical chemists in the Wild West are on the town’s main street,
ready to draw their weapons. One orders: "Don’t MOVE, or I'll fill
you full of 98% lead, 1% antimony, 0.98% cobalt and 0.02% elements below
their detection levels!"

The other one responds: "HOLD on there, cowboy. Are those values
CERTIFIED??"

---

One day I came home early from work ... I saw a guy jogging naked.

I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"

He said "Because you came home early."

---

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and tells him,
"Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle,
and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the
box, it's a rooster."

Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets
him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the
table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box,
then turns to her and admits, "First of all, no matter what we do,
we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything
resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and adds, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's
have a nice cup of tea, and then," he continued with a deep sigh.....
"then let's put all the corn flakes back into the box!

---

Why is 'Charlie' short for 'Charles' if they are both the same number of
letters and 'Charlie' has twice as many syllables?