Please not again.

Day 2,020, 09:50 • Published in United Kingdom Israel • by dante643

It seemed my readers that after my last article that I threw together in five minutes, thought it would get a few chuckles and then continued with my work and thought nothing of it, until it was the second most popular article of the UK and that's when things started to get weird.

SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE

It was a lovely evening I sat around lounging in my estate gifted to me by HRH Woldy as I was knighted Sir Dante of Kent when knocking could be heard, of course I didn't want to miss the latest instalment of 'The Wayne and Chaz hour' but politeness is politeness. As I opened the door to greet my new guests I was beset by thugs, 10 50 10000 thugs to be precise bearing the emblem TUP on their pristine chequered jackets. Whisked away in the dead of night my surfs workersLiberty Honour Guard besieged in their cardboard-boxes shacks pristine living conditions. It was then I was knocked unconscious as I heard the cry 'Your Mother'.


may or may not of been Keers

I awoke in a daze, set about around me was a dozen or so TVs, I believe they drugged me or it could of just been Chazs 'cookies' either way my poor mind was bombarded with images after images 'Master Race' this 'TUP' that, all I could do was hang on to my sanity, but luck was with me that day, for the British Army stormed the TUP Castle Glasgow Ian Keers Basement and carried me away still tied to a chair, it was at this point when they didn't release me that I realised my torment had just begun. Once again I was knocked unconscious.


Still cleaner than Edinburgh

This time I awoke to a stately affair tea, cakes and fine captured Norwegian and Germark serving girls, sat around the table was none other than Big Ant, Goku and Sir Winston.
Me: I thought you where in the Freemasons?
Sir Winston: New Era, Freemasons, Tomato, Tamato
B.A: Now Dante this recent article has made a bit of a stir and I say we at New Era appreciate your ability to make others look terrible
(It was at this point I realised B.A serving girl was a serving boy)
Goku: Big Ant is right my good lad, come work for us, vote for us, talk to us, New Era, New Era, New Era
B.A: Goku!
Goku: sorry
B.A: He gets that way sometimes, now Dante, I hope I know what your answer will be.


Okay so when I say 'fine' I may have meant 'bargain'

It was at this point a flash grenade went off which was lucky for them because a chair-bound Dante could still of taken them and I had a plan all along I swear. UKRP commandos swarmed, the three ran off calling for their legion and occasionally turning around to hurl insults. It was for the first time in only Woldy knows how long I saw a friendly face, Mitte of UKRP renowned, with a warm motherly face and determined stride she approached, I would finally be free and as breathed a sigh of relief, that was when she tazered me in the adams apple and I fainted again.


Yep, this again, come on, its a great photo

This time though there was to be no brain-washing, no grandeur, apparently UKRP doesn't beat around the bush, I was impressed by this, or I would have been if not beating around the bush didn't involve torturing me for ten hours. No explanation, my pleas of mercy only seemed to drive my torturers more, my bruised and bloody corpse was dropped just outside Leicestershire, luckily a passing hippy van full of ESO members found only twelve hours later after my mind had receded to such a dark place that I started to agree with Chaz that Phil Collins has talent.


He doesn't

Luckily as I type this to convey the message to you my readers I am recovering in my princely estate, after-all its not like its going to happen twice is it?

Yours
dante643
p.s whats that noise?