Join the new world

A few weeks ago, in an underground article, I had reported how Press Directors, stay-at-home Tanks and Society Builder geeks had chosen careers as reclusive citizens.

Thousands of work-from-home recluses PMed me, confessing that they were wearing only their pants while reading that article. Fortunately very few sent me photos. Here are some of the questions they had aske😛

Q: Is it acceptable to only wear pants at high noon if no-one would see me, or am I committing a fashion fau😜as?
A: It is totally acceptable to wear pants at high noon. You can even wear them at low noon. In fact, you can wear them all day long. The only exception is for expatriats currently resident in eBritain, you must not wear pants at tea time. Pants and tea don't mix. The combination can be lethal.
"For reference; See the eRepublik Day 566 report: 'Spontaneous combustion among eSA expatriate work-at-home recluses.' ~ Editor

Q: How should I handle "Phuza Thursdays" in my soho (small office, home office) workplace?
"Thank you Ines Schumacher, for promoting the glorious eSA tradition of Phuza Thursdays" ~ Editor
A: I have replaced Phuza Thursdays with "formal Wacky Wednesdays". Every Wednesday, I take my daughter to the play center, forcing me to shower, shave and don formal wear. Don't go overboard, though. My three-piece suit include a jean-pant, t-shirt and tekkies.

Q: But what if I never go out?
A: Then stick to Phuza Thursdays. Why not make Thursday the day you wash your pants? All no-one will see is the back of your chair, anyway.

Q: What if Mr. eDelivery Guy comes to the door?
A: Tell the Mr. eDelivery Guy it's Phuza Thursday, and ask him if he really wants to see how a work-from-home recluse celebrates Phuza Thursdays. "Unless you are a female eCitizen, in which case you should tell Mr. eDelivery guy to fark off" ~ Editor

Q: If I work from home, do I still need a leather wallet?
A: Of course. Without a leather wallet, what would you carry to the long-drop? Make sure your wallet matches your pants, though. You would not want no-one to catch you with badly coordinated fashion sense. Personally, I don't have a wallet, but that's just a cheapskate thing.

Q: What about taking out the rubbish?
A: When the odour starts to repel the domestic gardener, you might need to take out the rubbish (just in case the gardener discovers the Kruger Millions in your backyard). Wear your pants to the curb, but I suggest replacing your crocs with tekkies. Gumboots are recommended in Soweto and Carletonville... except in July and August. Don't walk to the curb if you live near an Ekurhuleni municipal rubbish dump during the current municipal workers' strike.

Q: I feel so alone. Is that normal?
A: Get over it. You are part of a glorious economic movement, where people around the eWorld choose to reject antiquated social norms and barricade themselves in their Q3 homes to make ZAR1,570 in the first week of their eCompanies. How could you feel lonely with so much money?

Q: Wow. I made only ZAR35 in my first week. I bet my husband ZAR35 that I could stay in my home office for three straight days without coming out. I won the bet, but I was forced to shower.
A: That's not a question.

Q: OK, what if I make only ZAR35 a week?
A: You might have to share your pants with... erm... no one else, until you can afford a second pair.

Q: Is this really a growing trend?
A: Yes. The Institute of Social Isolation reports that by Day 2630, 95% of eCitizens will be operating a home based business. The Neutral Organization for Studying You (NOSY) reports that by Day 2630, 95% of people will be sharing their pants with no one in specific... until they can afford a second pair.

Q: Wow. That's a lot of pants. What does this mean for the future?
A: It means the pants industry will become a major economic force.

Q: Do you know any good pants-based hedge funds I could invest in to take advantage of this trend?
A: No, but how rich can you get investing ZAR35 a week, anyway?

That's it, everything you wanted to know about fashion etiquette for the work-from-home recluse. One more thing: if you provide feedback to this article on a Phuza Thursday, please turn off your web cam.

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~ Another article consumed for eRepublik use