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Late on Day 686, Prime Minister William Duncan addressed a crowd of reporters outside the official residence of the Prime Minister, to announce that despite having won the most contentious battle for Prime Minister that eCanada has ever seen, he was stepping aside to pursue a career as a Circus Ringmaster. When asked why he ran for Prime Minister, he responded “I was just trying to win a bet with a few bar buddies. And by the way guys, now you owe $100 each. But seriously, I love animals, and I adore kids. I love seeing a child’s face light up, and I now I will get to see that happen a hundred times in a day, when clowns make them laugh, when trapeeze artists perform amazing feats, and when the exotic animals perform tricks. My day will be complete each time the circus performs, knowing that I’ve brought a smile to the face of many children, and made their lives just a bit brighter.”

This newspaper located jbdivinus at his home in Edmonton, and informed him that the Governor General of Canada was trying to locate him, and to offer him, as the runner-up, the now vacant position of Prime Minister, jbdivinus seemed excited at first and then rather subdued. “Really? I’m being given the opportunity to govern all of eCanada – well, obviously not the Hungarian controlled parts. I can’t believe this! I’m not sure what to say. You see, since it seemed obvious from the time the polls opened and results started coming in, that I wasn’t going to win, I started looking for other jobs. And I found one, something that I always wanted to do: Lifeguarding. I love the outdoors, the hot sun, the wind running through my hair, but most importantly, giving people a further chance at life. You know, performing CPR and doing chest compressions, being right in the middle of life & death situations, and feeling the satisfaction of saving lives. You know, come to think about this, this makes perfect sense, since I can’t save Canada any longer from the Huns and the Brits and the rest of PEACE. Can I think about this for a while, and then get back to you? Tell the Governer General that’s it going to take me about 25 days or so to decide which I’ll do.”

When the D’Arcy McGee Herald tried to get a hold of Chamrajnagar by phone at his Calgary residence, his voicemail picked up: “Due to my unforeseen loss in the eCanadian Prime Ministerial Elections, I have decided I should move on from active politics. I was blindsided by the other two candidates, and have no idea where their support came form! I should have been elected. The people liked me. My platform was brilliant. However, it seems something went amiss. I’m just not sure what it was. Thus, I am pleased to inform you that I have accepted a position as Head of NeuroScience at Saint Clares Mercy Hospital in St. John’s, Newfoundland. ” When this newspaper contacted him at the hospital, we asked him how he ended up in this position. He responded by pointing us to a book he had read in the last week, and his resulting employment from the knowledge he had learned through the book. However, he could not spare us more time, as he was busy conducting medical research on patients to discover why he lost yesterday’s election. However, he did call us back just as this newspaper was about to go to print to inform us that “if my current research proves to be futile I will resign my position. The book which brought me here has also provided me with the inspiriation and know-how to help eCanada remove the Huns from North America: training rodents in advanced warfare.”

So there we have it – the three candidates from yesterday’s eCanada elections, and where they are today: the leader of a circus, a beachbum, and a clueless brain surgeon.

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