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Potpourri

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Officials at the Cincinnati Zoo said a pack of Grinchy squirrels are countering their holiday cheer by taking down their festive lights. Chad Yelton of the Cincinnati Zoo said squirrels gnaw on the LED light strands workers put up for the holiday season and the animals seem intent on keeping the facility's Bear Hill from being bathed in festive illumination. "This is by far the number one spot for squirrels," Yelton said of Bear Hill. "We've had many a night where it's completely dark."
Yelton said the zoo lost 300 strands of lights in one recent year, "and most of that was on Bear Hill." Officials said the squirrel problem has been going on for several years. Before the switch to LED lights, the squirrels would unscrew the incandescent bulbs, apparently mistaking them for nuts. Yelton said the zoo tried using hot sauce to deter the squirrels, but "they kind of laughed at it." "You know, it didn't really do much. I think we felt good about it, but it didn't do much," he said.
Steve Foltz, director of horticulture at the zoo, said the yearly attempt to safeguard the holiday lights is "a challenge whose smarter, the squirrel or the horticulturists." Foltz admitted that for the moment, "the squirrels win."

-- UPI


Jokes

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I was preparing lunch for my granddaughter when the phone rang. "If you can answer one easy trivia question," a young man said, "you'll win ten free dance lessons!"

Before I could tell him I was not interested he continued, "You'll be a lucky winner if you can tell me what Alexander Graham Bell invented."

"I don't know," I replied dryly, trying to discourage him.

"What are you holding in your hand right now?" he asked excitedly.

"A bologna sandwich."

"Congratulations!" he yelled. "And for having such a great sense of humor..."

-o-o-o-o-

My wife and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe in Huntington Beach, CA.
Our waitress looked like a real surfer girl - athletic with a great tan and blond hair.

Mulling over the menu, my wife asked her if the roast beef was rare.

The waitress gave us a long blank look, then replied, "Well, no - we have it, like, just about every day."

-o-o-o-o-

A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected, a large crowd gathered. A lawyer anxious to get there first could not get near the car.

Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim."

The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

-o-o-o-o-

One reason it's so hard to save money is that our neighbours are always buying something we can't afford.