Life In Ireland
Day 2,645, 15:15
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Published in Ireland 
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by
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by Anthony Colby
Read this list.
Memorize it.
Your life may depend on it.
And there might just be a test later. I have not decided.
1. Ireland changed its name to East America in 1978 for one year in an attempt to attract American investment.
2. We’re the land of saints and scholars, and proudly so. But what you probably don’t know is that there are many poets and writers that exist in Ireland who aren’t on the Junior and Leaving Certificate syllabuses.
3. 93% percent of the male population in Ireland is named Séan, Patrick, John or Conor while just 14% of women are named Sean, Patrick, John or Conor.
4. The east of coast of Ireland was largely populated by organised gangs of megalomaniacal seagulls prior to human settlement.
5. B*witched are Ireland’s most popular band, selling over 1.4 billion singles with every person in Ireland owning over 147 copies of ‘C’est la Vie’ each.
6. According to your Grandmother nothing bad ever happened in Ireland when she was growing up so just stop fucking asking, will ya?
7. Any form of cattle is considered legal tender, meaning you can pay for clothes, meals, houses or a few beers with a cow or a sheep. Banks however, stopped their policy of allowing customers to store their cattle in bank vaults in 2003.
8. Despite our obvious obsession as a nation with property you may not know that the Irish media went a whole day without mentioning houses on the 23rd of May in 1989.
9. It is still illegal to become a politician unless you sign a contract promising to attend at least 100 funerals of local constituents you’ve never met every year.
10. While it may blow your mind to discover this – everything in Ireland is, to some degree, so so Irish, remember this at all times.
11. The official mascot of Ireland is a small, impoverished child being beaten with a stick and not a cheery leprechaun as many people mistakenly believe.
12. Anything that occurs in Ireland that has been recognised by America in any way is automatically 170% better as a result.
Memorize it.
Your life may depend on it.
And there might just be a test later. I have not decided.
1. Ireland changed its name to East America in 1978 for one year in an attempt to attract American investment.
2. We’re the land of saints and scholars, and proudly so. But what you probably don’t know is that there are many poets and writers that exist in Ireland who aren’t on the Junior and Leaving Certificate syllabuses.
3. 93% percent of the male population in Ireland is named Séan, Patrick, John or Conor while just 14% of women are named Sean, Patrick, John or Conor.
4. The east of coast of Ireland was largely populated by organised gangs of megalomaniacal seagulls prior to human settlement.
5. B*witched are Ireland’s most popular band, selling over 1.4 billion singles with every person in Ireland owning over 147 copies of ‘C’est la Vie’ each.
6. According to your Grandmother nothing bad ever happened in Ireland when she was growing up so just stop fucking asking, will ya?
7. Any form of cattle is considered legal tender, meaning you can pay for clothes, meals, houses or a few beers with a cow or a sheep. Banks however, stopped their policy of allowing customers to store their cattle in bank vaults in 2003.
8. Despite our obvious obsession as a nation with property you may not know that the Irish media went a whole day without mentioning houses on the 23rd of May in 1989.
9. It is still illegal to become a politician unless you sign a contract promising to attend at least 100 funerals of local constituents you’ve never met every year.
10. While it may blow your mind to discover this – everything in Ireland is, to some degree, so so Irish, remember this at all times.
11. The official mascot of Ireland is a small, impoverished child being beaten with a stick and not a cheery leprechaun as many people mistakenly believe.
12. Anything that occurs in Ireland that has been recognised by America in any way is automatically 170% better as a result.
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Comments
I guess I'll have to come over and check your facts in June this year.
Voted for laugh!
Roger Casement - “I know of two tragic histories in the world – that of Ireland and that of Macedonia. Both of them have been deprived and tormented.”
Ireland < 3
Source for that quote?
From the book “Macedonia and Greece: The Struggle to Define a New Balkan Nation” by John Shea, 1997, page 8.
I meant a primary source 😛
As in, where did he say it and to whom?
I hope #7 is true.
o/
o>
o/
No 8 just could not be true.
Voted 😛
Are you selling Q3 house maybe?
I think I own 150 copies of C'est la vie, so I am bringing the average up a little.
Nice article and all true.
o7
I'm pretty sure I already saw this on WWN but I laughed again anyway! 🙂
Yup you did.
i like fact no 7 😃
please help me vote and comment for mission http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-valday-kisah-kita-2497688/1/20
thanks
No.4 is BS.... the East Coast is still populated by seagulls with pretensions on the throne of the Earth.
Never says they left. 😉
True.
I have 365 copies of C'est la vie, so that I can listen to it every day. Feb 29th always poses a problem though. Maybe I should just get another copy.
i have no copies of c'est la vie know only the movie bewitched. and most importantly will come and beat up any of your children so that we can enter him as irelands mascot for 2015/2016
votado
It is true about the seagulls
Seagulls are rats with wings.
This is great, I was only listening to C'est La Vie on the radio today! xD