Funny citizenship requests - reloaded

Day 646, 12:20 • Published in Serbia Hungary • by montaigne

As PEACE is not in her best days, and mood is generally tensioned, I wish to make U smile with another set of my funny citizenship requests. Here you can read previous citizenship requests .

The queues at the immigration offices are getting longer and longer as more and more people are being in the wrong places. I read a lot of citizenship applications, and today I have selected pending citizenship requests from USA, RUSSIA, Hungary, Indonesia and India. All the names and requests are real. For the sake of fun I put myself in the position of an ordinary burocrat of each country and I wrote imaginary anwers to the funniest applicants.




Enjoy the requests:


USA IMMIGRATION OFFICE

1. Pickleswami, Mexican citizen: (confusion about geography)
-Dear members of eCongress. I wish to be great success in Amerika. Ps: Mexico sucks; there's too much desert.
-USA Burocrat’s answer: I guess you mean AmeriCa and not AmeriKa. And USA has even more desert. Rejected.

2. Boomboxer , Chinese citizen: (the guy in the wrong place in the wrong time)
-I have come from China. I used to live in the USA, but I moved to China looking for better paying jobs. Well...that didn't work. So, I have moved back, looking for another job,and I missed the USA while I was in China.
-USA Burocrat’s answer: Aha, so you moved to China for a better paying job. Can U pls fill out this small IQ test before we enter into more details?

3. Abdul Aziz Al-Saud, Croatian citizen: (the guy, who forgot to tell everything about himself)
-please give me citizenship i am not from Croatia i am from USA
-USA Burocrat’s answer: Can U pls spell your name again? A B D U L…whatever….ok, and where are you from?

4. Richard Cheney , Portuguese citizen (the guy obsessed about hairy …women)
-Down with Portugal! Boo to the Portuguese! Up with America! Three mile island wasn't that bad. New Jersey Women have awesome hair!
-USA Burocrat’s answer: Tell me more about New Jersey Women’s hair…ah…tell me more…ah…

5. Criminal Jim , Australian citizen: (haven’t noticed the ciryllic letters on the Statue of Liberty)
-I'm from Australia. Australia is a nice place to retire. New York is the heart of the free world.
-USA Burocrat’s answer: Конечно, Нью-Йорк етo центр свободного мира

6. cman1296 , USA citizen: (the superficial)
-I went to Australia but isn't that cool so I came back.
-USA Burocrat’s answer: may I see your papers again? Aha, so you are USA citizen. Do you want to get a sort of backup USA citizenship if something goes wrong with the original one?

7. Kripis , Latvian citizen: (confusing In-Game and IRL)
-Beacuse there in Latvia isn't any job opurtunities and here is USA is better healthcare and much better job opurtunities.
-USA Burocrat’s answer: Last day we had 30 job opportunities in whole USA and more than 2000 applicants. All but one of our hospitals destroyed. Please read these leaflets and come back in a week. Better in a year. I mean, come back NEVER.

RUSSIAN IMMIGRATION OFFICE

8. kurotatsu , USA citizen: (the innocent)
-I would like to be back in the USA. Russia is not where want to be.
Russian Burocrat’s answer: Kamerad Malenkij Rabot has accepted your request to move to one of Russia’s newest camps.

9. John D Harris, Canadian Citizen: (master of geography)
-I am a citizen of Colorado, therefore any country that rules Idaho should be my de facto country.
Russian Burocrat’s answer: So, you consider yourself citizen of Colorado, but you mention Idaho…which is under Russia, same as Colorado. So what do You want from me?

10. Tifau , Argentinian citizen: (the guy who still believes eRepublik is free of bugs)
-I don't know what the hell happened, yesterday I was living in Kaliningrad and had my citizenship and suddenly I woke up in the Urals and without citizenship. Please help me.
-Russian Burocrat’s answer: Confess: who gave you the Argentinian Passport? Confess NOW! I warn you for the last time! Do not blame eRepublik, since the game has NEVER EVER generated that sort of bugs.

INDONESIAN IMMIGRATION OFFICE

11. Virtual Holocaust , Russian citizen: (having some touch of Jamaican accent)
-i dunno i know how to do barrel rolls and stuff lulz
-Indonesian Burocrat’s answer (stamped): permintaan Anda telah ditolak (Your request has been rejected)

12. Yeerk , Indonesian citizen. (the starightforward guy)
-Indonesia looks cool. I like the flag. Give me gold.
-Indonesian Burocrat’s answer: permintaan Anda telah ditolak

13. Frace , German citizen. (The complicated guy)
-Hello, I come from Germany which has been occupied by Hungary and i have repeadetly been fired from the Hungarian companies I decided to move and chose Indonesia because of the many jobs available and its might which helps me to develop in peace Please accept my request, it would be an honour to serve for Indonesia.
-Indonesian Burocrat’s answer: permintaan Anda telah ditolak

14. Victel, Spanish citizen: (man of few words)
-give me citizenship or die. thanks.
-Indonesian Burocrat’s answer: permintaan Anda telah ditolak




HUNGARIAN IMMIGRATION OFFICE

15. aznariseul, Indonesian citizen:
-뭘 주저리 주저리 쓰라고 하는건지... 여튼 재미있게 즐기면 되는거 아닌가? 싫증나기전까지는 계속 할듯한... 하지만... 한국에서 하는사람이 없다는
-Hungarian Burocrat’s answer: Aj em sori, mi spik no Romanian

INDIAN IMMIGRATION OFFICE
16. leshinari , famous Rainbow Soldier:
-Hi boys and girls. I want to have new start here. I want to be citizen of the country in which Goa music was created.
-Indian Burocrat’s answer: OMG…a celebrity in our village…mister...we are honoured, mister, we have no papers, we have no passports, but you can stay here forever. We change the Indian flag into Rainbow strips. May I get your signature on my T-Shirt?

And finally the winner of the last collection:

Nikola Djinic (Serbian, having unique humor, being bored and applieing for Hungarian citizenship)
-Please, give me that shit... I need it so much! People in Serbia are counting on me! I will serve Hungary for many centuries. I don't have bread to eat in Sebia. I have seven children to feed. My wife is dead. Can my children come, as well? I will fight every day, and I will work every day, and I will train every day, and I will do laundry every day, and I will do homework every day. Thank you very much! Kiss 😘
-Hungarian Burocrat’s answer: We have double checked. Serbia is still counting on you.

Have fun

montaigne