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Potpourri

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"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction."

-- Blaise Pascal


Jokes

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Recently, while I was working in my yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their 12 year-old daughter what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said that she wanted to be the president someday.
Both of her parents were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were the president of the United States, what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied, "I'd give shelter and food to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed with pride! "Wow... what a great goal!" I replied. "But you don't have to wait until you're the president to do that!" I exclaimed. "What do you mean?" she asked. I told her, "You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you $50. Then you can go down to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out and give him the $50 to use for food and shelter."

She thought that over for several seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work himself and you can pay HIM $50?" I said... "NOW you're thinking like an American!"

Her parents no longer speak to me.

-o-o-o-o-

An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.

"How did that happen?" gasped her mother.

"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but three girls helped me catch him."

-o-o-o-o-

An interviewer says, "Tell me your choice. I can either ask you ten easy questions or one very difficult question. Think hard before you make up your mind."

"Ummm, I'd like one very difficult question."

"You have made your choice. Good luck to you. Tell me which comes
first: day or night?"

"The day, sir."

"And how did you reach that conclusion?"

"Sorry, sir. I agreed to answer only one difficult question."

-o-o-o-o-

You can buy anything on eBay. I bought the world's oldest globe:
It's flat.