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Potpourri

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“Are you calling about a silver truck?” asked the 911 dispatcher. “Yes.
He’s all over the road,” the caller said. Shortly thereafter, a trooper stopped Don Hall, 61, and arrested him on a DUI charge. Hall is the mayor of Hartselle, Ala., who has opposed legalizing alcohol sales in the dry town. “The fact that the man takes a drink isn’t anything other than what a lot of people that’s in this town are doing and won’t admit it,” said Frank Jones, a former councilman who supports legalization. “I think he recognized to get elected he was going to have to stand up against alcohol.” Jones said he approved of Hall’s performance in office. But Mayor Hall has stepped aside — and out of town — for a minimum of 14 days, says city attorney Larry Madison, and acting mayor Bill Smesler says Hall may resign. Meanwhile, Hall is still receiving his mayoral salary — and, every month, his $350 driving allowance.

-- Decatur Daily


Jokes

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After an exhausting weekend, I woke up Monday morning and sleepily packed lunch for my eight-year-old child. When I got home from work late that day, she handed me a note from her teacher, requesting that I see her. "What’s this all about?" I asked sternly.

Opening her lunch box, my daughter showed me the drink I had packed for her that morning. It was a can of beer.

-o-o-o-o-

I was meeting with my auto insurance agent, Carl. I confessed to him that I'd been comparing rates on the Internet. I had gotten a quote that was 30% less than his!

"Tell me, Frank," responded Carl, "when you have an emergency, whom do you want to deal with -- a man or a mouse?"

-o-o-o-o-

When children come in to the doctor's office where I work, it's my job to weigh and measure them. After several unsuccessful attempts to get one frightened three-year-old on the scale, her mother sai😛 "Honey, Mommy has a scale at home. Do like I do and stand on it."

Recognition dawned on the child's face and she confidently stepped on the scale, looked down and exclaimed, "Oh, darn!"

-o-o-o-o-

I'll bet you've never seen a plumber bite his nails.