Forumgate 2014

Day 2,556, 16:42 • Published in USA USA • by Aeriadne

This has been a test of the Emergency Broadcast System.

His Dark Materials
Dear reader, I come to you feverish, worried, slightly moist, bearing the bad news that only I can bare. At approximately 3:43pm and 27 seconds today, it was revealed to this reporter that, not only has Pfeiffer been responsible for forcing two of our nation's prestigious players to flee across the pond AND for almost single handedly engineering the downfall of our government and way of life from the inside out, but he has, though networks of spies, corrupted puppets, and mistform delegates, seized Congress for himself.


Pictured here: Pfeiffer's dark tendrils permeating both the White House and beyond.

Our savior and ever vigilant voice of reason, Franklin "AKA CHS" Stone has admitted, with testimony I am sure only his advanced brain could possibly ever comprehend, that Pfeiffer has purposefully withheld state documents from the public for months. In a retort to USWP lapdog Delyruin's outrageous claim that "the public release of PDB's is generally 6 months after their creation, this fact has been mentioned many times in Congress, if you paid attention," our revered lord and guerrilla guardian angel Franklin had this gem of wisdom to counter with:

"Not the point at all, believe Congress could request those PDBs be release right now; pretty sure Pfeiffer won't let that happen...."

Truly, the width, weight, and girth of Pfeiffer's command over our pathetically misinformed country vastly overshadow's Oblige's suppose blubber stores. With Pfeiffer now known to control the entiretey of congress, control of government documents, the Federalists and the USWP, one can only wonder at what Lovecraftian horror he has lined up to face the incumbent Oblige in December.


Spoilers: it probably won't end well for the whale.

A chill, deep and dark, now runs cold through my veins, permeating my very soul with the horrors to which Pfeiffer might further be plotting. Winter is coming, my friends, but Pfeiffer and his Pfreinds are coming harder. Stay safe in these dark times, and preserve your sanity.


This article has been dedicated in loving memory to Custer's sense of humor and sarcasm. RIP.