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Welcome to another edition of Goodbye Blue Monday, the finest shoes fit to print.



Oh shit, you meant news? Well, eh, we have that too.

FED CONGRESS
Yo, Feds. There comes a time in every citizen's lives when they realize that the only thing Paul writes are like Congress articles. It's depressing. Being said, someone has to, and who else is there to save you from the deluge of soulless propaganda that Big Congress wants you to see.

So, when you're considering who to vote for tomorrow, consider the fact that the Federalist Party has consistently been responsible for the most influential, level headed, and quality Congress members for the past several months. Look no further than the current speaker AlexJ to see how voting Feds improves Congress from like terrible to like meh at worst.


^{We also have a deep archive of quality gifs}

Anyway, we published the list a few days ago. It's pretty solid. We have veterans in Crom and MR, we have newer players already making their mark on our party and country (like RevlisEtan). Basically the Fed candidate list is like a supergroup. Like Supertramp. Or like X-Force. Actually, scratch that, it's more like watch the throne.

So, Vote Fed, you won't regret it.


^{Superheroes or SUPER FED CONGRESSMEN? Hard to tell. Report at 11}

Also, just in case you were too lazy to click that link earlier, here's our Congress list again. Bask in the experience:

Melissa Rose
Molly Emma
AlexJ
Orikfricai
Cromstar
Paul Proteus
Aramec
Illiguy
RevlisEtan
Shadowber
Tyler Bubblar
Evry
Tenshibo
Middletopia
Kalos Hoenn
Apollo221
Officer Friendly

Regardless, I can personally vouch for all of them. Putting together the list was nearly impossible, something which while possibly rare in other parties, is never rare in the Feds. Anyway, it's good stuff. Vote Fed, you know you want to.

Still, other things are going on! It's not all not-fun&games, it's also fun and games in the Federalist Party. In addition to our daily games of Russian Roulette, we're now offering:

RISK THE GAME OF GLOBAL DOMINATION


^{We're trendy and cool and stuff}

So, basically, we want all of you to come to our forums and hang out with us. And one way we're doing that is Fed Risk!. Anyway, join in.

Later guys,

Paul Proteus,
Fed Political Director,
Guy who still exists