eAustralian CP in Drug Party Scandal!!

Day 2,443, 19:20 • Published in Australia North Macedonia • by TJ Titan

The Kamikaze Pigeon Express has received exclusive unconfirmed information that current eAustralian CP Mr Sherlock Holmes has been making use of his down time as CP by holding 'out of control' political parties involving copious amounts of drugs and alcohol. When asked about the drug usage our CP implied that before moving to introduce any new changes to eAustralian drug laws, it was important that he, his advisors and eAustralian ministers had a 'working knowledge' of the effects of the drugs to better understand what was going to be required moving forward.

Mr Holmes has been linked with a number of former and current celebrities during his time as CP, and recently appeared on Lindsey Lohan's 'Sex List' of former 'lovers'. When we attempted to ask Lindsey about this she declined to comment further.




It is believed that Mr Holmes is currently in the USA with current squeeze Katy Perry as he contemplates his political future vs singing/acting career (after narrowly missing out on replacing Robert Downy Jr in the next instalment of the Sherlock Holmes series).



photo believed to have been found on CP Holmes's personal phone


The Kamikaze Pigeon Express would like to wish CP Holmes all the best for the future and we look forward to his upcoming collaboration with Will.i.am.

You stay classy eAustralia

Mr T