Join the new world

I don't know about you, but I think that children's TV has honestly flushed all it's dignity down the shitter in the years since I watched it. I mean some of the rubbish which somehow gets onto the TV in between Breakfast news and Flog it! and Cash in the Attic, which may I add is a total sellout for the name of the programme. There's me hoping for suitcases of cash from Miriam, now 85, and her days as a Belle De Jour.

Anyway. One day, I venture down early, after having a nightmare with the YMCA taking roles within the film plot of Risky Business- which I must say, is scary to have the one dressed as Red Cloud, the war leader of the Sioux Native American tribe, turning up at your door asking you for a good time. So, I come down to a bowl of Special K Sustain and morning TV, only to find some awful excuse for a program called 'Lazy Town', a poorly dubbed Icelandic children's program, with a main character, closely resembling a Belgian peadophile.

The 'antagonist' of the show is called Robbie Rotten (real creative may I add), who, and I quote (from our good friends Wikipeedia) 'is always trying to get the kids to eat junk food'. I find it thus fitting that it isn't featured on the Scottish Television Network. The general feel of the program to me, is hugely 'rapey', aswell as the sensation to tear a testicle off to throw at the TV to change the channel.

I guess I feel rather snobby, coming from a generation of Playdays, Barney and Pokemon. I know Pokemon is still around, but the melovolent arseholes are taking liberties now- creating more than copius amounts of creatures and making a game out of every metal and gem known to man. Yellow, Blue, Gold, Diamond. I could take that. But it won't be long until we see Pokemon Einsteinium and Pokemon Tungsten in the bargain bins next to a copy of Restaurant Empire.

Of course, nothing beats the morning television in my childhood, when I was able to wake up at 6am without an alarm clock or one of William Heath Robinson's Impossible Machines; but then again all generations would say that. I highly enjoyed the Jackie Chan Adventures and the mediocrity it entailed as the series went on, like all cartoon series as the drag on mercilessly; like guy fawkes after his full learning of the term 'hung drawn and quartered'.

Anyway that's enough from me.

Baron Chris
www.baronchris.blogspot.com