The ePassion of olivermellors: an agony in 5 acts

Day 2,587, 10:44 Published in Canada Canada by Azarius Theron
A request grante😛

Some time ago, a player requested that he be mocked. That request remained unfulfilled until now, after proving (yet again) why he would deserve such treatment.

1) The ramblings of an old new player
First notice of olivermellors was made on a gravel road in the far reaches of Northern Alberta, when a gentleman was found, disheveled and muttering about an incubus come haunt his dreams of chess and other fair sports. Fearing for his health in the cold Albertan night and his questionable sanity, eCanadians gave him shelter among their ranks and were soon entertained when he struck up an impromptu chess tournament with the other inmates. Few expected that the results of this chess tournament would, in fact, herald the inevitable fate a great game for those unfortunate souls.



So, his simple purpose of infusing a little chess into eRepublik, olivermellors unwittingly crowned Rylde as eCanada’s most winningnest King in the years ahead, rivalled only by lesser leaders like Jacobi. This watershed moment in eCanadian politics went unnoticed to all, and was only briefly sensed in the tournament’s second coming some four years later, after the socio-political landscape had been for the most part reshaped in the image of MDP (all war-no roleplay-even less foresight-but glory, oh so valiant glory, in this present moment). And with his momentous arrival in eCanada, olivermellors cemented his ‘village elder’ role in eCanada’s history as the most wise among the wise, most insightful among the blind, and most polite haranguer of Law among the lawless.


A gentleman hunter out trolling for some game: “Ahem, excuse me, I do believe you’ve stepped on my Charter, good sir. Yes, thank you for inattention and have a good day.”

With the first act of hosting an apt Chess championships under his belt, olivermellors next focused his attention on refining the social contract uniting all eCanadians, whether across political divides or military unit rivalries, under one code governing these interactions in a fair and transparent manner (otherwise known as “constitutional roleplaying”). Few expected that the opening move in his grand gambit (NOW FOR A NEW CONSTITUTION) would lead to such a tenacious pursuit of fair sport in what is otherwise a game of arbitrary legislations governing a shrinking pool of talent that once held the promise of creating something bigger, better, and far nobler. Nonetheless, there is great virtue in sticking to one’s initial beliefs and deeply held convictions, and so olivermellors began looking (and still does!) for ways to continually apply such principles despite the most apparent futility of that aim. Only a true gentleman understands the merits of polite, properly ordered discourse amid senseless fisticuffs and inevitable dead ends.

2) Herding Cats and other legal miscellany

MOOeow!

Olivermellors’ journey down the ever-shrinking eRabbit Hole next took him into legal regions most unknown. Namely, he devoted this 2nd act of his eRepublik career to defining the Supreme Court and demonstrating how these methods could best be applied to an unwitting, grudging playerbase. Reading through his journals documenting this expedition, one might be convinced of his intent to not only record the customs of the strange people he encountered, but also of his seeming attempt to direct the social evolution of the primitive peoples he observed. No doubt, it could be a social experiment easily mistaken for self-flagellation…but were it not for his polite, persistent message of honesty and good faith, one might interpret these behaviours as anti-social snobbery couched in faux intellectualism.

Most of these exploits consisted of butting heads with boneheads (you will always lose against numbskulls, as mellors repeatedly proved) and being berated by observers too engaged in other practical parts of the game to fully understand what his noble vision fully entailed. This time of Supreme Court white-wigged pouffery and legal cat-wrangling can be summed up in 5 simple phrases:

1 - Copious detailed updates describing court procedures that blah, blah, blah basically freedtemujinbc

2 - only aggravation and other anarchic discourse

3 - 96.0.69

4 - Being the Tembutt of the joke

5 – Judicial Reforms: refining procedure, establishing precedent, promoting honesty and good faith and reaping the fruits of this tireless labour (ie. it was all relegated to the dustbin of history first when Supreme Court fell into disarray and next when all the legal proceedings were deleted in the last forum changeover…so it goes)


The culmination of his great work resulted in a few notable convictions whose fines were paid (or were they?) but whose pardons cost more to eCanada’s fragile, elusive pursuit of a set of rules agreed upon, understood, and followed by an online group of gamers. But why bother, you might ask. But what else can serve as a foundation for organizing that group’s long-term goals, mellors might answer, but by that point in the dialogue, usually everyone has gone off to do better things with their time.

3) Exitjesus to an ajaycent country

After reaching the climax of his career in eCanada, olivermellors next joined the resulting rebellion that broke off from eCanada and sought refuge in eUSA to rectify the errors of a failed state, or rather, to deny reality once again in favour of a higher standard that will never be obtained in eRepublik. Nonetheless, olivermellors remained his cool, balanced self and stood apart from the disingenuous angst feigned by most of the other rebellious expats. Certainly, his exit from eCanada was justified, but the great irony is that no lesson was learned from butting heads with boneheads on his first team. Naturally, he should continue this trend in his second one.

Most dearest eUSA:

I am olivermellors, a recent addition to your line-up. I noticed you have a very active forum and large player-base complemented by a full range of resource bonuses. No doubt you’ve done much to accomplish this impressive feat, but still, the foolish need education so I hope you don’t mind if I point out a few logical inconsistencies. Have a good day, kind sirs.

Faithfully yours,
o.mellord




With this most gracious introduction, it comes as no surprise that olivermellors quickly wormed his way into the good favour of the elites in eUSA. Taken in under the wing of Ronald Reagan, olivermellors drafted what can only be called the most insidious of right-wing policies to ever grace the political landscape of eRepublik. From advisor, he moved on to a lead the AFA as their Party President, importing Serbians and other PTO agents to sway elections, influence Congress, and generally instill fear in the hearts of eUSA citizens as means of gaining a CP medal (his most coveted prize of all).

Of course that would be the mirror-universe of what actually happene😛 yet more Agony, Ecstacy, and Exigesis. olivermellors would never dare lay claim to anything so precious as a CP medal, let alone even a common Congress medal (of which he respectively has none…it would be ungentlemanly wear such an egotistical decoration *pshaww!*).



Rather, olivermellors continued to do what he was best at, which was to remain on the sidelines, castigating the upwardly mobile members for their oversights and explaining simple, yet somehow unobvious truths to the masses, plus now and then feeding them with an abundance of loaves and fishes somehow miraculously produced by his own Work-as-manager clicks (a fellow of many talents, that lad). Suffice it to say, that while much wisdom was also dispensed, eUSA did not heed his advice and things pretty much kept along as they always do in the Internet. Consistency can be a wonderful thing.

4) Dontquitokay! – a picaroon among brahmins

I could write a section describing the episodes of olivermellors’ picaresque adventures in eIndia: the establishment of a UAgg Party with a UAgg MU, the butting of yet more boneheads, yet more disappointment for his diasporic colleagues…but I won’t. It would be a poor use of your reading time, and an even worse application of my research skills (I’d rather enjoy glossing over large events with trite re-interpretations, befitting the standards of eRep journalism). Instead, let us say that olivermellors remained tried and true to the same course he has stuck to since its inception in the early days of eCanada. For that, we applaud you, or perhaps mock you, likely a little bit of both. At this point, does it really matter who’s counting or what’s being kept track of? After much meandering, the only relevant metric is how much daily training adds to strength. There is yet to be a reliable one to measure the benefits gained from the butting of boneheads, so none shall be attempted here.


Instead, a vagabond’s verse:

“I have searched the whole world over
Looking for a place to sleep
I have seen the strong survive
And I have seen the lean grown weak”

--“Don Quixote” – G.Lightfoot


5) Returning to walk amongst us & poking fingers in old wounds


A few months ago from his wanderings in lands afar, olivermellors finally returned home a greatly changed man (moving from India to Turkey to then trekking through deep jungle in search of the Lost City of Potentia). So changed was he that few recognized the old friend they had spent many a day with, chatting over idle topics on how to improve the eWorld around us through simple yet effective principles. Hmmm, let’s see, first article is about….chess! http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/kings-crusher-rylde-2454739/1/20 …then another chess tournament http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/ecanada-killer-krusher-and-kroatian-kings-contest--2459800/1/20 ...followed up by a series of terse yet cryptic nuggets of wisdom aimed at the active playerbase embroiled in the selfish pursuit of Congress medals, CP vainglories, and half-considered legislations that never effectively make the leap from good intentions to actual applications.

Hey, that sounds oddly familiar…from first pages to final pages, mellors has bookended his eLife with matching blocks of text devoted to the two things he loves most: chess and pushing around dull-witted pawns. More should read his words, though few would comprehend them. But then, that’s life when you’re a walking, talking enigma whom many have puzzled over….kind-hearted wise gentleman or passive-aggressive intellectual troll? Opinions have varied.



All in all, olivermellors has proven himself to be a player of deep insight coupled with great modesty, one who will turn the other cheek rather than engage in petty name-calling or flamewar gerrymandering, who will sacrifice his time to explain a principle that others will nod their head to yet will not really enter their noggins, who exhibits patience and grace even when surrounded on all sides by thieves and being assailed by anti-roleplaying git’rdone soldiers. Indeed, there is only one figure worth comparing him to: