Bit of a Laugh

Day 2,688, 22:14 • Published in Australia Australia • by Tobsta


Hello and welcome to the tenth edition of the Weekly (now hourly) Tobsta!
Enjoy!
A Breather

Now, after 9 articles in two days, I'm getting tired, so as a breather, I'm just going to post up a few jokes - and by a few jokes, I mean a lot of jokes!

Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital?

A: To get a tweetment.

Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job?

A: Because she couldn't control her pupils?

Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?

A: A Clausterphobic

Q: What three candies can you find in every school?

A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.

Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?

A: Ouch

Q: Why was the guy looking for fast food on his friend?

A: Because his friend said dinner is on me.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?

A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A: USB

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?

A: Put a bogey in it.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

A: Because he had no-body to go with.

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?

A: They take the psycho path.

Q: Did you hear about the angry pancake?

A: He just flipped.

Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?

A: Cell phones.

Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?

A: Beef Jerky.

Q: Did you ever hear about that movie constipation?

A: It never came out.

Q: What Do You Call A Bear With No Teeth?

A: A Gummy Bear

Q: What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George?

A: 2 Fast 2 Curious

Q: Did you hear about the hairdresser?

A: She dyed.

Q: What do you call a musician with problems?

A: a trebled man.

Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

A: He pasta way.

Q: Where do snowmen keep their money?

A: In snow banks.

Q: What do you call a very religious person that sleep walks?

A: a Roman Catholic

Q: Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco?

A: He pulled a muscle

Q: Did you hear about the carrot detective?

A: He got to the root of every case. Q. What did the tie say to the hat? A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around

Q: What washes up on very small beaches?

A: Microwaves!

Q: What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers?

A: the Telephone.

Q: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn't move?

A: The road!

Q: Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?

A: He was lucky it was a soft drink.

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