A Hedonistic Victory for us all!
Day 1,504, 12:47
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Marcus Oritas
Dear warmongering readers of the Groovy Gazette,
This new year has carried with it almost exclusive wins for us allies.
Allow me to tell you about it while I lather Chocolate Jelly on my belly, in a very, very hedonistic fashion:
And you should see that episode of Futurama. It's very, very good
1. The Serbian Blunders
Yesterday, Serbia accidentally declared war on Croatia (a serious, legitimate accident). Bosnia has also entered the conflict to support Croatia, and are looking to cut through Kosovo, decimating Serbia's economy (please fight there). With Croatia's Polish and Hungarian campaigns completed, they have done a fine job against Serbian attacks, and could be able to liberate parts of Italy and Albania. Unfortunately for Italy and Albania, Spain has declared war on Croatia, seeking to liberate Mexico and Venezuela from Croatian rule. This will likely force Croatia to consider ending the war with Serbia (who wants it to end, as it was an accidental war in the first place), because Mexico is a very important colony for Croatia. However, due to this new Serbian front, the USA was able to liberate, or force into retreat, the occupying Serbian forces in France. This cuts off Serbian bonuses in Spain, and weakens Serbia's economy, which is a huge deal to them. A defeated Serbia could be the end of ONE, after every other ONE power has struggled as well. So yea, we gotta capitalize on this one y'all.
Spanish forces attacking Mexico, or whatever
2. The Polish Invasion
Only a truly magnificent achievement could have made the strongest player in the game, Romper, to retire in satisfaction. His abscence will be missed, he'll more of a casual player, having acheived his greatest goal, a goal thought impossible by most people. The combined forces of Croatia, Bulgaria, and Romania, fresh off their victory in Hungary, have teamed up once more to gloriously defeat Poland. Wiping Poland for the first time in the war, this takes away another major player in ONE's battles. I'd consider them one of the biggest supporters in battles for their allies, so this helps battles from hither to yonder. But wait, there's more. Despite already fighting Poland (although Poland's forces were split in three), Bulgaria was able to defeat Hungary in Subcarpathia, regaining initiative. And the German and Dutch resistance forces have nearly removed the final shackles of Polish occupation in what was formerly the Polish west. These recent events in the region, signify a power change to the Balkan EDEN powers, as they've shown they're capable to run with anyone. Defeating both Hungary and Poland opens up new doors for them indeed. Will they seek to maintain control of Hungary and Poland, or go after new fronts like Macedonia, and Serbia?
mmmmmmmmm..... chocolate jelly........
3. The Terra/EDEN Invasion of Macedonia
Macedonia has recently declared war on Turkey, and they will seek to liberate occupied Iran and Pakistan, while hopefully conquering more of Arabia, and Israel. And Greece and Cyprus are coming to Turkey's aid. Greece has long been dormant, but now they're back in conflict with Macedonia, while Cyprus has been sorely lacking resources, and would benefit from new colonies. Macedonia will initiate the attack on Turkish Iran, while Greece will attack the Macedonian heartland, and Cyprus goes through Arabia. This is one of the last chances for ONE to prove its worth as an aliance in the face of numerous invasions. This war will determine the fate of West Asia, and will prove either the value of Turkey, or the power of FYROM. So yea, its kind've a big deal.
4. Chaos in East Asia
China has repeatedly defeated Indonesia on their own turf, but has had difficulty hanging on to Indonesian territory. This has still given EDEN security in the region with a free Phillipines, and Malaysia. Fortunately, Indonesia lost control of South Australia, the control of which, would have allowed Indonesia to survive behind Australia (whom they are at peace with), and so now a wipe is quite possible. However, Singapore, a Indonesian tribute state, has been heavily supporting their ally, fighting suprisingly well against Malaysia and the Phillipines. If China's invasion comes to a close, I'd recommend taking Singapore as a base ready to strike if Indonesia gets all aggressive again. Meanwhile, Chile and New Zealand are locked in an interesting, evenly matched war, though I'd say Chile has done slightly better as they've had less support from allies than New Zealand recieves regularly. Also in news, while China was preoccupied with Indonesia, South Korea revolted in many regions, launching a nearly succesful attack on Shandong. Taiwan has been trying hard to support China so their focus can remain on Indonesia, their prize. A Chinese victory would signal a new age for Asia, as the west is Turkish, and the east is held by the Chinese and their allies. Success would mean Asia would be the new South America, able to give major support to her allies fighting in Europe.
5. Baltic Campaigns
Sweden has been extremely resilient in the face of invading Finland and Russia. Sweden continues to dodge a wipe, but now they have a border once again with Russian Sweden, and so they may get cornered again. On the eastern shores, Romania has flawlessly contained Baltic resistance hopes despite invading Poland. Russia, however, needs to reestablish its foothold in Lithuania. They have struggled in occupied Lithuania and Sweden against resistance forces. Further west, Germany and Denmark have created an impenetrable union between the two nations, The German-Danish Confederation, and Norway remains safely under Finnish control until the Norwegians regain control of their own government from Serbian PTOers.
Finnish commandos searching relentlessly for Swedish resistance in the northern reaches of Sweden, or whatever
6. The British Isles
Nothing is really new here. Strong resistance in the Irish and Canadian north, while the French sector dominates British resistance. The U.K. is likely doomed to continue going through endless cycles of wiping and unwiping.
Whatever...
Now some Hot and Snazzy War Notes!
Brought to you by Tyra Banks, who's hotter than you ever thought she was
ONE countries without initiative, Halleluuuuujah!: 9
Serbia
Poland
Hungary
Indonesia
Sweden
United Kingdom
South Korea (Pro ONE)
Lithuania (ABC)
New Zealand (Serbian PTO)
ONE countries currently wiped, Halleluuuuujah!: 8
Montengro (Serbian tribute state)
Mexico (Pro ONE)
Venezuela (Pro ONE)
Peru (Pro ONE)
Paraguay (Pro ONE)
Poland (ONE ONE)
Estonia (ABC)
Latvia(ABC)
Side Note of Interest: Could you imagine if Yugoslavia had never seperated in RL? Serbia, Macedonia, Croatia, and Slovenia would be in the same freaking country!
EDEN/Terra countries currently without initiative, or are wiped forsuketh!: 3
Italy
Albania
Switzerland
That's all? Halleluuuuujah!
In conclusion, ONE is severly failing. Terra and EDEN gained momentum, and made good on it. Only Serbia and Macedonia (they're next) remain in good shape. Serbia has appeared apathetic to the plight of her allies, and have focused only upon her own colonies and resources. There's no better way to break up an alliance then when the Leader is concerned only with itself. Serbia is even squabbling with their ally, Spain, over control of Spain's own territories in Catalonia and Aragon. ONE HQ remains a dark place of coldness, where everyone feels alienated and betrayed by each other. But in EDEN and Terra, jazz parties and plunder-baths are becoming commonplace. So keep lookin' snazzy.
This is Groovy Gazette, saying, goodnight, and have a romantic, loving, and glorious evening, sneaking in some kills on eRepublik, between raising your children, and loving your wife. God Bless.
The Bastards of Liberty party loves you insatiably. Now don't you break my heart, and leave without even the slightest glance.
Offense was not intended by this article. My policy is, if for any reason you are not completely satisfied, then I respectfully disagree with your sentiment (formerly, "then I hate you").
Votes are snazzy. They will live on as a testament to your snazziness, long after you abandon this game, and all material goods to help the poor or something. So please Vote and Sub!
And don't forget to vote for Sir Gulden Draak!
This new year has carried with it almost exclusive wins for us allies.
Allow me to tell you about it while I lather Chocolate Jelly on my belly, in a very, very hedonistic fashion:
And you should see that episode of Futurama. It's very, very good
1. The Serbian Blunders
Yesterday, Serbia accidentally declared war on Croatia (a serious, legitimate accident). Bosnia has also entered the conflict to support Croatia, and are looking to cut through Kosovo, decimating Serbia's economy (please fight there). With Croatia's Polish and Hungarian campaigns completed, they have done a fine job against Serbian attacks, and could be able to liberate parts of Italy and Albania. Unfortunately for Italy and Albania, Spain has declared war on Croatia, seeking to liberate Mexico and Venezuela from Croatian rule. This will likely force Croatia to consider ending the war with Serbia (who wants it to end, as it was an accidental war in the first place), because Mexico is a very important colony for Croatia. However, due to this new Serbian front, the USA was able to liberate, or force into retreat, the occupying Serbian forces in France. This cuts off Serbian bonuses in Spain, and weakens Serbia's economy, which is a huge deal to them. A defeated Serbia could be the end of ONE, after every other ONE power has struggled as well. So yea, we gotta capitalize on this one y'all.
Spanish forces attacking Mexico, or whatever
2. The Polish Invasion
Only a truly magnificent achievement could have made the strongest player in the game, Romper, to retire in satisfaction. His abscence will be missed, he'll more of a casual player, having acheived his greatest goal, a goal thought impossible by most people. The combined forces of Croatia, Bulgaria, and Romania, fresh off their victory in Hungary, have teamed up once more to gloriously defeat Poland. Wiping Poland for the first time in the war, this takes away another major player in ONE's battles. I'd consider them one of the biggest supporters in battles for their allies, so this helps battles from hither to yonder. But wait, there's more. Despite already fighting Poland (although Poland's forces were split in three), Bulgaria was able to defeat Hungary in Subcarpathia, regaining initiative. And the German and Dutch resistance forces have nearly removed the final shackles of Polish occupation in what was formerly the Polish west. These recent events in the region, signify a power change to the Balkan EDEN powers, as they've shown they're capable to run with anyone. Defeating both Hungary and Poland opens up new doors for them indeed. Will they seek to maintain control of Hungary and Poland, or go after new fronts like Macedonia, and Serbia?
mmmmmmmmm..... chocolate jelly........
3. The Terra/EDEN Invasion of Macedonia
Macedonia has recently declared war on Turkey, and they will seek to liberate occupied Iran and Pakistan, while hopefully conquering more of Arabia, and Israel. And Greece and Cyprus are coming to Turkey's aid. Greece has long been dormant, but now they're back in conflict with Macedonia, while Cyprus has been sorely lacking resources, and would benefit from new colonies. Macedonia will initiate the attack on Turkish Iran, while Greece will attack the Macedonian heartland, and Cyprus goes through Arabia. This is one of the last chances for ONE to prove its worth as an aliance in the face of numerous invasions. This war will determine the fate of West Asia, and will prove either the value of Turkey, or the power of FYROM. So yea, its kind've a big deal.
4. Chaos in East Asia
China has repeatedly defeated Indonesia on their own turf, but has had difficulty hanging on to Indonesian territory. This has still given EDEN security in the region with a free Phillipines, and Malaysia. Fortunately, Indonesia lost control of South Australia, the control of which, would have allowed Indonesia to survive behind Australia (whom they are at peace with), and so now a wipe is quite possible. However, Singapore, a Indonesian tribute state, has been heavily supporting their ally, fighting suprisingly well against Malaysia and the Phillipines. If China's invasion comes to a close, I'd recommend taking Singapore as a base ready to strike if Indonesia gets all aggressive again. Meanwhile, Chile and New Zealand are locked in an interesting, evenly matched war, though I'd say Chile has done slightly better as they've had less support from allies than New Zealand recieves regularly. Also in news, while China was preoccupied with Indonesia, South Korea revolted in many regions, launching a nearly succesful attack on Shandong. Taiwan has been trying hard to support China so their focus can remain on Indonesia, their prize. A Chinese victory would signal a new age for Asia, as the west is Turkish, and the east is held by the Chinese and their allies. Success would mean Asia would be the new South America, able to give major support to her allies fighting in Europe.
5. Baltic Campaigns
Sweden has been extremely resilient in the face of invading Finland and Russia. Sweden continues to dodge a wipe, but now they have a border once again with Russian Sweden, and so they may get cornered again. On the eastern shores, Romania has flawlessly contained Baltic resistance hopes despite invading Poland. Russia, however, needs to reestablish its foothold in Lithuania. They have struggled in occupied Lithuania and Sweden against resistance forces. Further west, Germany and Denmark have created an impenetrable union between the two nations, The German-Danish Confederation, and Norway remains safely under Finnish control until the Norwegians regain control of their own government from Serbian PTOers.
Finnish commandos searching relentlessly for Swedish resistance in the northern reaches of Sweden, or whatever
6. The British Isles
Nothing is really new here. Strong resistance in the Irish and Canadian north, while the French sector dominates British resistance. The U.K. is likely doomed to continue going through endless cycles of wiping and unwiping.
Whatever...
Now some Hot and Snazzy War Notes!
Brought to you by Tyra Banks, who's hotter than you ever thought she was
ONE countries without initiative, Halleluuuuujah!: 9
Serbia
Poland
Hungary
Indonesia
Sweden
United Kingdom
South Korea (Pro ONE)
Lithuania (ABC)
New Zealand (Serbian PTO)
ONE countries currently wiped, Halleluuuuujah!: 8
Montengro (Serbian tribute state)
Mexico (Pro ONE)
Venezuela (Pro ONE)
Peru (Pro ONE)
Paraguay (Pro ONE)
Poland (ONE ONE)
Estonia (ABC)
Latvia(ABC)
Side Note of Interest: Could you imagine if Yugoslavia had never seperated in RL? Serbia, Macedonia, Croatia, and Slovenia would be in the same freaking country!
EDEN/Terra countries currently without initiative, or are wiped forsuketh!: 3
Italy
Albania
Switzerland
That's all? Halleluuuuujah!
In conclusion, ONE is severly failing. Terra and EDEN gained momentum, and made good on it. Only Serbia and Macedonia (they're next) remain in good shape. Serbia has appeared apathetic to the plight of her allies, and have focused only upon her own colonies and resources. There's no better way to break up an alliance then when the Leader is concerned only with itself. Serbia is even squabbling with their ally, Spain, over control of Spain's own territories in Catalonia and Aragon. ONE HQ remains a dark place of coldness, where everyone feels alienated and betrayed by each other. But in EDEN and Terra, jazz parties and plunder-baths are becoming commonplace. So keep lookin' snazzy.
This is Groovy Gazette, saying, goodnight, and have a romantic, loving, and glorious evening, sneaking in some kills on eRepublik, between raising your children, and loving your wife. God Bless.
The Bastards of Liberty party loves you insatiably. Now don't you break my heart, and leave without even the slightest glance.
Offense was not intended by this article. My policy is, if for any reason you are not completely satisfied, then I respectfully disagree with your sentiment (formerly, "then I hate you").
Votes are snazzy. They will live on as a testament to your snazziness, long after you abandon this game, and all material goods to help the poor or something. So please Vote and Sub!
And don't forget to vote for Sir Gulden Draak!
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Comments
If I didn't sub this paper, I wouldn't know what the hell was going on!
Nice to see ONE is on the ropes.
V+S
such good work, man.
Voted, already sub
>Further west, Denmark has all but succumbed to German forces
Germans and Danes have formed the German-Danish Confederation.
@Shadow
Wow that's really cool. Thanks for the correction!
np.
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-cp-germany-denmark-confederation-treaty-1936489/1/20
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/pr-sidentvalg-januar-2012-1936545/1/20
"The U.K. is likely doomed to continue going through endless cycles of wiping and unwiping."
: )
V
voted. Your reporting does wonders for keeping my up to date!
Serbian declaration of war on Croatia is not an accident, but a reflex : )
Anyway, we've taunted TEDEN throughout past year, guess it's your turn now.
i like this.
voted and subscribed
voted and subscribed!
very nice article
Lets attack Spain next.
i like your article, you get v+s. everything flows, allways keep that in mind.
Great job! I have to figure out how to work the phrase, "jazz parties and plunder baths" into a RL conversation today. Awesome reporting, keep it up please!
Voted, subscribed.
These are great days!
Good article!