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White House Press Report - Day 2616 Another Day, Another WHPR


^{President Wild Owl is watching...always}

Dateline: Monday, December 18, 2014 (Day 2616)
Location: James S. Brady Press Room, The White House

Today's WHPR
1. General News Roundup
2. Interview with Derphoof, Secretary of State
3. Segment Reserved for Challenging the Editor
4. Interior Programs Are Everywhere! EVERYWHERE!


America Learns Turkey More Than Just Delicious Thanksgiving Meal
_{Paul Proteus, Reporter of All Things Not Fit to Print}


^{We here at the WHPR take ourselves very seriously}

Turkey: Bird or...Bro?

Washington, DC,

Grateful Americans everywhere are learning a new word - Turkey. No longer reserved for delicious Novembers, Americans are reveling in the generosity of the glorious Turkish government which has gifted the United States the region of Pyongyang.

This gift has allowed Americans to enjoy the fruits of TP medals, the educational value of attempting to pronounce a city not named Springfield, and a deep friendship with the Turkish people, cemented through the renewal of an MPP, which had lapsed after Wild Owl's glorious victories in the snow-scape of Lithuania.

In all seriousness, the United States Press, on behalf of the Wild Owl government, and American people, would like to express our thanks to the eTurkish government. We hope our nations partnership will be one of trust and mutual benefit.

And returning to our usual editorial voice, this publication looks forward to enslaving Pyongyang with glorious American freedom.


^{We're just that awesome}

Party President Election Results

In other news, Party President elections occurred smoothly earlier in the week as Tyler Bubblar won the Federalist Party, Aramec won in the AMP, Gnilraps in the USWP, Arrden in the BSP and Cubby in We the People.

Congratulations to new and returning Party Presidents, here's to another great month.


Minister of Foreign Affairs Bravely Faces Dystopian World in Which Not Everyone is American - Interview with Pony-Secretary Derphoof
_{Paul Proteus, Secretary of Media and trusted name in low impact journalism}


^{This will make the world take us seriously -Sincerely America}

Paul: What does the SecState do? What's the day to day work?

Derphoof: SecState basically keeps an eye on world events, contacting allies, prospective allies, and enemies whenever needed. Fostering relationships and whatnot. Oftentimes it just means checking and sending a bunch of PM's, getting on IRC and chit-chatting with people. Gotta make sure we stay on top of our rental treaties as well.

Paul: What is America's current position globally? What are you doing?

Derphoof: America's current global position is very strong. We're in an amazing alliance in Pacifica that is very supportive of each other and we're in a great position for the future. Wild Owl has done a great job over the past months in getting us to this point. We've got a very stable position in the world and our military remains strong enough to combat outside threats while also traveling around the world to support our allies where they need us.


^{Official American Foreign Policy}

Paul: What should a beginner player know about State, how would one become involved?

Derphoof: A beginner player should simply know that State is one of the most important functions in the game, if not the most important. You can have the strongest military in the world, but if nobody likes you, then it will be incredibly hard to succeed. If they want to get involved, we'll be bringing back the ambassador program again on a smaller scale than before. I'll have an article out soonish on how they can join.

Paul: What's it like working for an Owl, when you're a Horse? Awkward am I right?

Derphoof: It's actually pretty hawt. The way he hoots... The way he orders me around... how his feathers shine in the sunlight gleaming through the windows as he majestically flies around the oval office....

Paul: Anything else you want to say to the billions of readers of this fine publication, each of whom hang on to your every word?

Derphoof: USA! NUMBER ONE! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

There you have it folks~


eRepublik No Longer "Rising," Receives Viagra
_{Aramec, Deputy Secretary, AMP PP, and all-around malcontent}


^{Bringing you the biting political commentary the WHPR is known for}

BUCHAREST, ROMANIA - With his yearly checkup complete, sources have confirmed that the aging philosopher/omnipresent digital demigod has indeed begun to suffer from male impotence. "His pecker don't peck, his weasel don't hunt," said Plato's doctor, caught on a smoking break. "The mayor doesn't go to town hall no more. There ain't no juice left in his goose. I dunno what else to say about it; dude's got a limp bizkit."

"Oh yeah," said renowned fellow philosopher/possible Ninja Turtle Socrates, a close friend of Plato for many years. "He's always had a problem with the lovin' that one. I mean, half a decade ago? Sure. eRep was 'rising' just fine. Nowadays, it's a wonder the old codger rises out of bed." When pressed for his thoughts as to why the excitement of recent wars and elections was so closely tied to Plato's wiener, Socrates declined to comment.

Our reporters in the field attempted to contact several prominent citizens and former Country Presidents on their thoughts the game's milquetoast nature. However, those reporters were promptly informed that the majority of the potential interviews had already been dead for quite a while. And so, our reporters in the field attempted to speak to Plato's aides and staffers. However, they turned tail and ran as soon as they witnessed a writhing mass of hands attempting to put some life back into Plato's game.

The rest of this article has been censored by a tyrannical editor
-The tyrannical editor

Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion.

Exciting Interior Projects For All! Home Improvement Next!
_{Dave Gulya, Designer of the Oval Offices Matching Chandeliers, also US Secretary of the Interior}


^{What Paul Apparently Thinks the SecInt does}

The Department of Interior is one of the most important, and often neglected departments in the United States. Focused on helping citizens survive, and stay in the increasingly post-apocolyptic landscape of eRepublik, our Interior Department is the key for securing the future strength of these eUnited States.

Often neglected under inferior Presidents, under Wild Owl, may his name be remembered as the defender of Ga'Hoole, the Interior Department has worked furiously, reinvigorating old programs and starting new ones to help every American thrive. Here is just a brief summary of what the Interior Department under Wild Owl's administration has accomplished.


^{It's unorthodox, but dammit man it gets results}

We have expanded Meals on Wheels to include Citizens up to Level 30.

Meals on Wheels - FREE FOOD!
1. Be a US citizen at level 25 LEVEL 30 or under
2. Grab your profile ID (this is the number at the end of your citizen profile page url) for example: http://www.erepublik.com/en/citizen/profile/8446447
3. Go to http://tinyurl.com/DoI-MoW and fill the form


Stack the Wall!
For one week, you will see Axl Finley post in your MU's Shout Feed.
If you are under Level 30 and answer the Shout, you are eligible to receive Gold!
Use this Gold to upgrade your Training Center's to enhance the strength of your Citizen.
Axl only stays a week and then he is off to visit other deserving Soldiers.

Do you have an MU you'd like to be eligible?
To request us to visit your MU, fill out this form!


Bank Up 2 Strength Up (BU2SU) Program.
Has the Gold that YOU need.

Get rewarded for logging in! Build up those Training Centers!

How can I qualify?
1. Be a US citizen between levels 21-28
2. Do not belong to any anti-American group (Party or MU)
3. Visit and apply at http://tinyurl.com/nyuljry
4. MUST fill out that form DAILY, after using Training Ground(s), to receive Gold payment WEEKLY
5. MUST apply at least 5 out of 7 days to get the gold reward for applying


Bewbs 4 Newbs
Go to: http://eusaforums.com/forum/index.php/topic,33522.0.html

Post a picture of a girl/guy who may or may not be scantily clad (NO NEWDS)

Paste your in game profile link, it looks like this:
http://www.erepublik.com/en/citizen/profile/6283553

You can only post ONCE per day and ANYONE can post.

You get 500 Wellness!
If you post the Sexy Pic of the Day as decided by Beachbunny,
you will receive and additional 200 Wellness and 10 Q7 Tanks


SERI-Save eRepublik Initiative
Citizens are asked to vote for eRepublik on outside gaming sites. More people = more fun!
Here are the Voting Links:
Link 1 - Link 2 - Link 3 - Link 4 - Link 5


Your White House Media Team:

Minister of Propaganda, Paul Proteus



Deputy Newsies: Cromstar and Irule777


^{Why yes, I do dress them up}

Official WHPR Conspiracy Theorist: Aramec

And, Your Moment of Zen


^{True beauty is not in simplicity...but in cookie}

[WHPR Day 2616] http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-whpr--2488836/1/20