[WC][Frank]I grew here, you flew here
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by Muglack
(Apparently I need to clarify that this is satire.)
Truer words were never spoken. I heard this saying for the first time watching a horrible movie called "Blue Crush". It was about a female surfer who had the stuff, but couldn't get a break or some such drivel. Long story short it had a hot chick in a bikini so I watched it. I'm simple like that.
The line I used as my title was uttered by one of the "Locals" to the main characters love interest in the movie who happened to be in Hawaii on a vacation. It seems the lovable main character decided to take her new boyfriend to a locals only surfing spot, and the rough and tumble locals didn't appreciate it. Before breaking his board and giving him a thorough thrashing one of them uttered the memorable line, "I grew here, you flew here" and a shiver ran down my back.
But I digress.
Obviously the topic I've chosen this week for my article is whether real life Canadians make better eCanadians. And everyone knows the answer is a resounding yes.
Clearly in an age where people can travel globally with relative ease, we have access to numerous cultural and societal experiences in our own cities, and where you can literally visit any part of the world with only a few clicks of a mouse the people who make the best eCanadians are the ones who are actually from here.
How could a person who was born in the US have any idea about eCanada? I mean in what way do any of their personal and real life experiences translate into what's best for eCanada. We have our own culture dammit and that needs to be preserved.
How dare some damn foreigner from some third rate European country dare to come to our fine shores and think they're worthy enough to shape this country. HOW DARE THEY! Don't they know they'll never fit in here? Don't they know we're special?
Canadians have their own way of doing things. Nobody that's not from here in real life would ever understand that. We have cultural nuances, and practices that foreigners just wouldn't understand. We have hockey, beavers, and maple syrup. How would someone from somewhere as exotic as the "United States" ever understand concepts like those? They simply can't. These are Canadian things, and they can only be completely understood by someone who is from here.
Basically it all boils down to one thing in my mind.
If you're not from here. Don't come here.
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does that mean i have to leave?
i lold.
Finally I can start rounding up all the minorities
Saying we lack a real national culture?
Them immigrants is takin' all of th' fine jobs. Eff'n we kill them all, We’ll haf less crime. We’ll haf lower taxes. We’ll haf safer neighbo'hoods. We’ll haf sho'ter lines in th' emerjuncy rooms. We’ll haf smaller classrooms
They toook errrr joooobssss!!
Dey duk errrrr jerrrrbs!
We need immigrants to compensate for our lower reproduction rate here...
This game really does feel like RL.
haha im from the us and i like to consider myself an "honerary" Canadian im part of the caf etc and yes i love hockey syrup and beavers (trust me im from Wisconsin)
@Chucky: Immigrants, or shittons of Viagra.
"How could a person who was born in the US have any idea about eCanada?"
actually, our entire knowledge of you strange people comes from episodes of South Park. i'd say we know a great deal.
"(Apparently I need to clarify that this is satire.)"
quoted to remind some commenters
besides: immigrants are better than them frenchis from Quebec. at least we speak english.
>Saying we lack a real national culture?
shut your mouth, you're too dumb to get it
Judge 1:
Muglack 37/50
Treatment of Topic: 20/30
--the best part was the way the title was explained and linked to article at the beginning, despite being satire the rest did not live up the expectations of the intro
Clarity and Layout: 17/20
.—I liked the choppy paragraphs offset by the longer ones, the speaker’s voice carried through on this one, just too bad the message did not do as well
Judge 2:
21.5/30
18/20
Good humour, strong arguments
Total: 39.5/50
Judge 3:
WC][Frank]I grew here, you flew here - Muglack
22/30 and 12/20 = 34/50
Judge 4
Muglack- "I grew here, you flew here"
Treatment of Topic (quality of humour/information/persuasiveness/creativity): 23/30
Bonus points for being the only article that went for all-out satire. There were some clever moments, but for a lot of it it just took the tone of sarcasm.
Clarity and Layout (understandable sentences, logical order of ideas, creative/competent use of language, good use of spacing/images): 18/20
Minor grammar issues. Well-formatted and written.
TOTAL: 41/50
Grand Total: 151.5/200