[IBB4CP] IBB 2: Electric Boogaloo

Day 2,628, 02:03 • Published in Canada Canada • by Xander Kross

CP elections are nearly upon us, so let's have a look at the candidates. I promise a completely unbiased and fair assessment, such as you have come to expect from me.

Oinyo, Clan Wolf


Seen here with his traditional Veep, Foxfire, Oinyo is a blast from the past. And by that, I mean, "ought to be blasted out of a cannon."

He likes to remind us of the last time he was CP, when he was a master diplomat who was able to make friends and talk to people. He was so good at it, he sweet-talked Spain into... what exactly? They didn't leave until Rylde and Rolo and other like-minded "war mongrels" (to use Oinyo's Spoonerism) forced them out (AND/OR, depending on who you ask, because klop123 loosened their grip on our nutsack using the Universal Diplomatic Lubricant: cash money). Oinyo's method of dealing with them was to promise oaths of fealty and kindness, help them with French homework and make YouTube videos for them, while they treated him and us like pathetic dogs. He also arranged to sell about half of our remaining territories to other foreign interests, only one of which we still consider a friendly nation.

Now that we're occupied by two hostile armies, I wonder which master this Wolf will expose his belly to first. What will he capitulate to Croatia and FYROM? Maybe he can promise them our first-born sons, or future-active taxes on any lands we manage to wrangle back.

DMV3, CPF



Once again, McVicker snakes his way into power through the daisy-chain of hippies in the CPF, convincing them to elect someone they don't like as their Party President, and then endorsing himself as their CP candidate.

Credit where credit is due: the last time McVicker was CP, he managed to send eUSA packing with no treaties, no promises and no deals. He told them to go home, and they did. Keep in mind, though, that this was at the end of several months of expensive occupation, with a newly-elected CP who wanted to give her people something new and interesting instead of dull and expensive. Croatia and FYROM have only been here a month and a half or so. It'll be a while before they get bored enough to want to make a deal with one of our primary trolls.

He's also trying to sell his package of openness and transparency, as though that is something to be desired. When a government makes plans against an occupying force, is it a wise thing to broadcast the discussions? What's the sense in sharing that information with everyone? Operational security: it's a thing.

Quentin Carlson, PFC, and Shere Richard Parker, TMS



Good fellows both. Perfectly fine alternative vehicles for expressing your discontent with the major players. Unfortunately, neither of them has the swagger or the cachet of James R Bond.

I-Bleed-Blue-93, MDP


{*}

This hasn't been the most glamourous term. We're still in trouble, and the situation still isn't pretty. Croatia still has us in a stranglehold, and has the wealth and strength to uphold that occupation for some time. FYROM still has their stinking rat-holes burrowed deep, and since they no longer have any holdings in Europe, they won't be dug out of our lands easily.

This is the situation any CP would have been dealing with this term, and there was never any magic "off switch" that would have ended the occupation in January. This is the situation any new CP will be continuing to deal with in February, and there is still no magic "off switch." The only sure way to handle this occupation is with hard work and a focused team who know all the steps and all the players.



IBB is the only reasonable choice. His team is rock-solid, and getting rock-solider with the addition of Rylde as his Vice President. The War Machine is firing up to run a steamroller over the FYROM rats, and the Diplomacy Machine is working overtime to reach an understanding with Croatia. This is not a team that is going to pre-emptively capitulate to our enemies, or make things worse by interrupting existing programs. This is a team that is going to do the hard work needed to win the international dance-off.

There are no easy solutions. There is IBB.



EVER FORWARD!

{*}Comical anecdote - I had that same leather hat when I was a kid. I wore it on a trip to Philadelphia to visit a friend going to university there, sometime around 1993 or 1994, and lost it at a drunken house party the night I got there.