[IA] Luc Praetor (Dark Duck and Lame Horse) for North-West

Day 1,192, 12:10 • Published in South Africa South Africa • by Luc Praetor
"This province is a cesspool of crime, depravity and corruption. It is literally the worst place in the world to live and I hate it. Together, let's change that, okay?" - Steve Murray, Newspaperman

Generally speaking, my sense of duty has been relegated to returning eSA library books almost on time, to not murder my neighbours, to light a braai once a week, and to try and look enthusiastic when I'm too tired to Phuza Thursday!

But every month another test comes along, wherein I have go to a polling booth, click some voting button, all to get certain individuals to manage our education system, council our municipalities, allowing them to make scandulous fools of themselves, and generally put their influence on government control.

Look, guys, here's the deal, the skinny, the 411: This province is yearning for nurture. Our cities are filled with rats that scurry through the streets, high on kat; pigeons who insult you on your way to work; traffic officers who ticket you on your motorcycle for stopping at the stop street, but not putting your left foot on the ground to announce to the world 'Hey! I've stopped! Nevermind my perfect balance!'.

Yet, each month, we need new and decent people to dine on the finest gravy-soaked biscuits; the dark, tax-filled sauce running down these decent people's cheeks! We need them to spend our hard/medium-hard-earned money on paper clips and red staplers. We need these decent people to surf the net in working hours and try not to harass the office staff too much with illicit websites and dirty e-mails. We need these decent people to try and build RDP houses, and then blame the failure on the inept contractors they employed to get the job done.

Here's your chance; Allow me to get free entry to the NWP zoo, let me get free drinks at the next concert at the Civic Centre, let me be your congressman to get all the benefits and chances to rub shoulders with the eCelebs that don't really matter in the greater scheme of things.

Well, I don't really like going to the zoo, but if you think I should, I'M THERE!

(All thanks to Steve Murray)