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The president elections are getting close, two great candidates have come forward from the parties DPP and VVN; Kordak and Trannsvaal. In the Netherlands it is tradition to end the year with some komedian making cheesy jokes, I will try to write in this fashion today.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WELCOME TO ROYAL THEATER CARRÉ! PLEASE CLAP YOUR HANDS FOR THE MAIN ACT OF TONIGHT; MAARTENW.

*Audience is silent*

“Well it is my first try on this, when I brought it up within the party I encountered a lot of scepticism up until the moment when someone brought up we could use it for charity purposes. This is why Timveltkamp is selling specially grown trouts in the back there to raise trout awareness.” Maarten points to the far end of the theater where tim is waving from his stand. “For every trout sold he will troutslap a customer of wild trout. His slogan is ‘be aware about your food, throw a trout!’ “ Maarten shakes his head while Tim calls something from the back. “How do you mean my pronunciation is wrong?...”

*Crickets chirp in the audience*

“Dilemmas are never nice, especially when it regards two friends you respect. When I support one the other one is going to be pissed at me and when I support non they will both be pissed at me in some way. I found no solution so I used an ancient political exit strategy; ‘democracy’. Iron and Wine has chosen for staying neutral this election so when either of the candidates comes to me with an angry mob I can just say; I’m sorry it wasn’t me who made this decision, you know I always loved you, it was not me who turned you down it was democracy, if you want to blame someone blame DemNL. If it was not for democracy we wouldn’t have this problem right now, we would be nicely decisionless folks getting equally spanked by a whip because dictator Garmrs statue was overdue.”

*Some whispers go through the theater; “Did he just say he doesn’t support our candidate?” “I’ll get the torches if you get the pitchforks” *

Maarten starts sweating a bit and widens his tie a little. “Well maybe it is time for an intermezzo, here is Admiral M. de Ruyter and Navy Commander Weekstrom with a good old hit! An der nordseeküste!



*The audience cheers and claps*

“So you like video’s huh? I don’t think I ever told you how Tonie112 got to be known as Notie112. It is of course ordinary that in politics you try to make your political opponent appear as the bad guy, Tonie did do this quite literally as he assigned characters out ‘Der Untergang’ to most active people in the Netherlands for a series of satiric videos. This is one of those video’s. Later when Tonie’s true identity was discovered he got eliminated so now there is the reincarnated Notie112!"

*Most of the audience claps*


"That was it ladies and gentlemen, I wish you a happy new year with much oliebollen, champagne and health! "

*The audience throws several trouts at Maarten before getting the hell out of the theater*



Happy new year wished on behalf of Iron and Wine,
MaartenW

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